My life in film...

Imagine… if you will… you’re surrounded by tons of scholars, writers, thinkers, and researchers who are all living in a relatively boring city. What do you do?? How do you find a creative outlet for your energies?? If you’re like us… you throw a Zapruder Party.

You remember Zapruder right? The infamous 8mm color home movie of the Kennedy assassination film that sparks debate and controversy of wing-nuts everywhere. Well, some people here have turned it into pure art.

Here’s how a Zapruder party works. Get about fifty friends together. Break up into groups of five. Hand out video cameras. Give every group a list of strange items and phrases. Now go and make a short film incorporating every item on the list. You have one hour. Get everyone back together and watch each other’s films. Die laughing. Give out awards.

Simple. My group consisted of myself, two people I didn’t know, my friend Phon, and our director… we’ll call him Gallagher. Gallagher considers himself quite the comedy genius and cinema bon vivant (actually, he is quite funny in person… but don’t read his stuff). We had discussed the upcoming party with relish, wanting to best the film he created for the previous party.

(I saw that film. It was killer! Unfortunately, one of the principals of the film demanded that it never be shown outside of his control, so I cannot share it here with you… which is a damn shame.)

The problem with the films that most people create is that they cannot find ways to use the required material with any imagination. They get too literal in wanted to make a complete film, story arcs and all, and not concentrate on the mood or humor of the situation. Also, it’s actually difficult to put so many awkward elements into a coherent scene.

Undaunted, we came up with a plan. What if we base our movie on a genre’ of film that relishes the bizarre… the surreal… the fantastic? What if we made a 1950’s inspired existentialist avant garde’ masterpiece in the vein of Federico Fellini and Giuseppe Rotunno??

Our required list:
Item: a spatula
Profession: a tattooist
Action: someone desperately needing to pee
Body Part: double chin
Movie Quote: “Stardate 2025.9… I never trusted Klingons, and I never will.”
Dirty Mind Thought: “Swallow, or it’s going in your eye.”

Below, I give you the Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Directing winning film of the 2009 Spring Zapruder Party… enjoy!!